Thank God for Brokenness

22 Mar

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As I write this post, I am in a very sentimental mood. If you know me very well, you would know that I get sentimental easily and regularly. To me, it is one of my favourite emotions. It enables me to pause in life and reflect, think, feel. Most of the time, it allows me to feel secure and amazed in God’s presence. It prompts me to praise God with a thankful heart because of all he has done for me, is doing and has promised for the future.

As I was feeling sentimental tonight, a specific thought repeated in my mind – “Thank you for breaking me…”

It may be a strange thought but it’s relevant in my life. I have always been one to act on my driven personality and take control in order to achieve what I set my mind to do. It’s the only reason I gained the unique nickname “Keen As”. It has been a partial weakness in my Christian walk with God because I take more control than what God wants me to take and in the process, trust God less.

As the Most High, and All-Powerful, when God wants something, he’ll get it! I have argued with God so many times that it is ridiculous because I NEVER win! The score stands at something along the lines of “God – 246 and James – 0”. When I know I’m about to lose the argument, I try and make a deal! Even then, I lose in that deal and succumb to God’s hope for my life. Saying so, I am so grateful that God wins the arguments because in all honesty, I know nothing compared to Him.

With the aforementioned thought in mind, God has broken me in every way possible and repeatedly. It is probably because I keep trying to get back up without learning the lesson. God has broken me physically through my deafness, cancer battle and when I carry too much responsibility (Burning out). God has broken me emotionally through broken relationships, hurtful situations and times of hardships. Above all, God has broken me spiritually continuously in every way He has needed to. It has been a painful process but a far worthy one.

The reason that I’m so grateful is because it has taught me to be humble; trained me to trust in God. It has disciplined me to wholeheartedly hand over everything I am, have and do in life to God. As I relieve myself of these burdens to God, it opens up my heart and mind to everything God wants to speak over me. Over the past few years, God has taught me incredible stuff and imparted amazing wisdom from His heart to mine. I constantly say to myself that I am nowhere near where God wants me to be; that always puts me back into my place with a heart to continue learning.

The results of God breaking me has enabled me to be flexible; so when he teaches me, my mind is so open to every aspect of the lesson that God is building within me. It has allowed me to have an attitude of embracing change because I want God to mould and polish the areas of my life. I want to be better for His glory. Relinquishing of the responsibilities of my life to God has put me in a position of learning and growth; instead of a position of taking individual control and having limited growth.

My purpose in sharing the process of being broken by God is to encourage you to not stop at salvation; but to look at God for transformation. Too often we can be trapped in the attitude that we are saved, therefore immediately perfect. I have so many flaws, weaknesses and doubts; but by the Grace of God, every single imperfection is in the process of being made perfect.

Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

Every salvation that happens holds insurmountable potential for transformation at the hands of God. It is a journey of discovery; a process of continuous breaking and restoring as we move from where we are to where God intends us to be.

We can be content and complacent with who we are and where we are in life, but know this – it is only the beginning, there is so much more! After all, God does love you but loves you too much to keep you the way you are!!

As hard as it may be, embrace the breaking of your Spirit and allow God to restore you again; so you can be in a position to bring the inbreaking of God’s Kingdom to our world today.

Thank you God for breaking me for it has, and continues to propel me further into your arms.

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One Response to “Thank God for Brokenness”

  1. Gede Prama March 22, 2014 at 7:34 pm #

    Thank you for sharing post, And …..all so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you a beautiful weekend. Much love. 🙂

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